One of the oh so many heart-wrenching scenes on Anne with an E that brought tears to my eyes.

A relationship where one person feels responsible for a failure and sees it in the other person’s eye everyday, even though that’s not what she thinks of him. For if she were in his shoes, she would’ve probably done the same. But we often forget that we’re human. And we think that the voice inside our head that blames us for every little thing we screw up on, might hurt even badly if we decide to give it a voice outside, too.

But that’s not always true. Because sometimes those who love us aren’t really looking for a perfect version of ourselves. Sometimes they just want to be part of our mess. And when they’re not allowed in, we miss out on that kind of warmth. The warmth of their reassurance. The warmth of knowing we’re not alone. We’re relevant. We’re loved. We’re appreciated. For who we so simply are. Without having to prove it to anyone. Even when the voices tell us otherwise. Especially when the voices tell us otherwise.

Sometimes all it takes is to let them in. To talk about the things that scare us out loud. And allow them to hold our hands through it all. Because maybe they, too, feel them. And maybe we’ll never get to know, because they, too, don’t feel safe letting us in. Because maybe we still don’t see them. And that... well, that can hurt even worse.

September 14, 2020