This is just to document that I’ve been postponing writing an important paper for over a month now. I’ve probably come up with ALL kinds of excuses that would help me procrastinate even more, because I knew that what comes after the paper will probably only bring me anxiety. And so as even more time passed, I could feel my anxiety being replaced with shame. Whenever I spoke about it, I’d complain that “I have no idea what’s wrong with me” and I still never got anything done. For an entire month.

Last night, I got to talk about it with a close friend, and openly admitted I feel ashamed of both my anxiety AND my procrastination for getting in the way. We talked about it, about how overwhelming the month of May already was, and about how she was ready to help with whatever’s making me anxious afterwards. We set a time plan, and guess what? I got out of bed today and f.i.n.a.l.l.y wrote the freaking paper. 🥳🥳🥳

I’ve always known my procrastination holds some anxiety, but I’m slowly learning that just “knowing” won’t really get me anywhere most of the time – unless I’m willing to discuss what I know. It’s interesting to watch feelings like anxiety and shame lose their power once we talk about them. It’s interesting to realize that sometimes all it really takes is to allow someone in, so they could gently hug our anxieties, and let us know it’s okay. Because it really is.