"قد لا ينام البعض من كلمة قالها أحدهم وهو يمزح."
“Some people might not be able to sleep because of a word someone jokingly said.”

This is a sentence that’s been overly used in sarcastic contexts all over social media lately, and that I, myself, am guilty of having laughed over a couple of times.

I get that it’s been used way too much in contexts that don’t make it sound that meaningful anymore, but I just wanted to take a moment and explain how my experience still makes me a firm believer in its validity.

Because, as a matter of fact, no one can begin to imagine how much people hide about themselves every day. We all have our insecurities. Think of the most confident, charismatic, so-full-of-themselves person you know; they probably really do not sleep well on most nights because of how loud their insecurities can get. No one is required to let anyone in on those insecurities, but just know: they’re always there. Everywhere. Because we’re humans.

And words; they have the power to cut right through our human hearts and rip them to pieces. It always baffles me, how something so intangible, so abstract, can be so powerful. Having someone use them so carelessly, never takes away from their power though. Because once they pass onto the mind, the game’s over.

See, if you happen to have a mind like mine (a completely human mind 🤷🏻‍♀️), it probably has the ability to do all the following: It overthinks. It jumps to conclusions. It replays conversations and interprets them in ways that confirms its own ideas about itself. It experiences waves of anxiety. And above all, it’s so freaking loud, you can hardly ignore it.

And while I believe it’s my responsibility to control and filter my thoughts, I also believe I can‘t be “blamed” for letting words get to me. Because sometimes, I don’t have the power to control where those words reside. Sometimes I don’t even feel them as they fall at the back of my mind, controlling my every action. Convincing me I’m not good enough. Confirming my belief that maybe I’m not smart enough. That I’ll always need to prove myself. Because maybe, my math teacher from 3rd grade once happened to publicly mock me in class for not having an answer to her question, and maybe, it will stay with me until my daughter comes up to me one day and innocently asks “what’s 12x8?”, and I wouldn’t understand why I feel so paralyzed before I give her an answer. Because even if I was able to sleep well that night, the thought can continue taking up space in my head forever. And that’s just a tiny, little example of what a human mind can do, without anyone paying much attention.

So instead of trying to make sense of why some people sound so sensitive or can’t take a joke, maybe we can ask: How can we be more considerate of their minds today?

I promise, it will make a difference.

Written on: February 3, 2020