Today, my journal witnessed an incredible flow of words I hadn’t been capable of bringing out in a long, long while. And it was one of the most therapeutic feelings, alhamdulillah. 🤍

Over the last couple of weeks though, I noticed I was barely writing a page or two everyday. I started thinking I was losing connection with my journal, or that I need to make some kind of adjustment for this to work. But today, I realized I’m really grateful for those ups and downs, and wouldn’t choose to change a thing.

Because somehow my journal seems to offer me exactly what I need, when I need it. Our connection specifically tends to grow at times when I’m reaching some kind of conclusion, making a much needed resolution, or simply expressing the feelings of gratitude my heart can no longer contain on its own. That’s when my pages uncontrollably keep turning over. And those are all also experiences that don’t necessarily take place everyday.

They’re rather a consequence of something happening outside myself, a conversation that unveils a possibility I never considered earlier, an unexpected encounter that triggers the need to reassess. There’s so much happening outside my own head everyday, and it lately feels like my journal’s capable of holding space for me to fully experience them, so I could come back and pour it all out as soon as I’m ready. And I’m finding so much beauty in that.

So this is my reminder to stop stressing over how many words make it out on any given day, because it’s all part of a much deeper journey. Sometimes my journal would be the tool I need, sometimes it would lead me to a better match for the situation, yet as long as I eventually find my way back, this shall be an everlasting bond, inshaAllah. (:

Basma Zaki