When my doorbell rings for delivery, I’ve to take some time to get in shape before I can get to it. I try to look around for a scarf, or anything that I can appear with from behind the door. And within what I usually feel are only a few seconds, the person on the other side starts knocking, tries the doorbell again, sometimes resorts to giving me a call. All because those seconds almost feel like eternity to them. They want to make sure I’ve heard, they don’t want to be left there not knowing what’s happening inside. The uncertainty pushes them to keep trying. When really, I’d never open the door until I’m ready. It still makes me anxious, so I wrap myself inside anything I find around. And more often than not, I make it there with a grumpy face, because why can’t they just allow me a few minutes to get there?

It somehow gets me thinking about my own life. When I’m the one standing on the other side. When I’m knocking on a door I so desperately wish someone could open for me, and my impatience levels rocket up after my first attempt. Is someone even there? What if they haven’t heard me? Maybe they did, but they don’t want me inside? I should walk away already, shouldn’t I? Let me try playing it smart. I’ll intervene and make it work. Because someone needs to unlock that door now.

And I just don’t realize that, maybe I’m not yet ready to see what’s in there. Maybe what’s in there isn’t ready to see me either. Maybe I don’t need to walk away, but rather be comfortable with the silence. For a couple of seconds, that might also feel like eternity. But really, in the grand scheme of things, they’re only “a couple of seconds.” Maybe rushing whatever’s inside, will have it coming out with the grumpiest face, because, well, can’t I just allow it a few minutes to get there, too?

But then I’m not the delivery guy, and none of my doors urgently need to open. There are many others around that I’m not done exploring. Including some that I once felt the same frustration towards when they wouldn’t open. Now they are, and I’ve enough time to explore all they have to offer. Don’t they at least deserve a mind that’s not so fixated on the one door that still remains a mystery?