One beautiful thing that’s slowly changing about me during this journey is, my current ever-growing belief that I simply deserve to take up space. Because I really do. Every human being out there truly deserves that too.

I deserve to take my time at the cashier while I look for my card or cash despite the long queue lining up after me, without feeling like I’m ruining anyone’s day. I deserve to ask for a break when the dentist messes too much with my teeth, even when I know there’s still a long list of patients having to stay. I deserve that space, because I allow it for others when they need it too. Sometimes I deserve to watch a movie at the cinema with my hands resting on the two sides of my armchair too.

I deserve to hang out with my friends and have the conversation revolving around nothing but that one thing that’s upsetting me, for as long as I need to rant. I deserve to be heard, because on similar occasions, I wholeheartedly stay attentive to other friends who deserve it too.

I deserve to wear a beautiful dress and whirl around in its bright colors everywhere I go, because it feels good to feel so pretty no matter how many people might continue to stare. I deserve to voice out the things I believe in so loud, even if not a single person seems to care. I deserve to bombard the internet with posts about my healing journey, because taking up virtual space is totally a thing too.

Everyone deserves to take up those kinds of spaces, but not everyone allows themselves to believe in the validity of that. Not everyone understands the significance of that.

It’s important to be selfless sometimes. And yet it’s so utterly terrible to have that literally turn us into self-less human beings. Ones who eventually lose their essence because of how they continue catering to everyone’s needs but their own. Ones who eventually lose the ability to express themselves because they’re no longer allowed to use up their space.

Basma Zaki