Something has been bugging me lately. I tried not to rant about it because this might sound too angry and mean, but I just couldn’t not.

So I’m following someone on IG who has recently lost her baby during labor, her experience has been intense (at least for me as a reader – can’t imagine what it’s like for her, ربنا يربط على قلبها). Ever since she started posting online again, I’ve been unable to stop following through with her. Her energy is something else. She inspires me with everything she does, mashaAllah, despite all what she’s been through. And I genuinely feel happy seeing her smile.

A few days back, she posted a story about someone messaging her and mentioning something along the lines of how all what she’s doing lately is probably a coping mechanism, or some way to deal with her grief. She seemed to take the comment so lightly mashaAllah, but I felt like screaming at the screen as I read this.

I mean, she might have thought about that herself at some point, but what’s up with us finding it hard to let people just be? What if it’s a coping mechanism? What if she’s helping herself in a way that might not make sense to someone else? Why would anyone feel the need to take a minute out of their day just to say, hey btw I know this smile on your face carries so much pain, but good for you that you’re still able to draw one? Why do we always have to be the all-knowing ones? What do we even know about her life? Why do we expect people who go through difficult times, to come back to social media and post dark quotes about pain and loss? And if they don’t, we point it out and let them know this happiness is not so real after all? Particularly when they don’t seem to have asked anyone what they think about where they are in life?

I might be exaggerating. I might reread this in a week and think, woah Basma what was that all really about. But right now it’s bugging me. How some people can sort of be shamed (I know it’s a big word) about how they choose to deal with their pain. It’s enough we all go through so much alone, especially at a time like this. No one needs to also have random people on the internet analyze and evaluate that.

Kthnxbye.

July 1, 2020