Ramadan has always been special in every possible way. Every year, I notice how I keep reminiscing about the previous one. How it was perfect, how I wish I can relive through it, and how I’ll forever cherish its memories. Yet I only realize how special it is when it’s over; when I’m looking back the year after and wishing I could have it again. Because every single Ramadan is special in its very own way. I just don’t always realize it at the time.

So this year, I’ve decided to try living more in the moment. To take the time to appreciate a Ramadan that’s not going to be like any other. For I have a feeling I might be looking back at it next year and wishing it could‘ve lasted a little longer, too.

This year, I’m planning to be more mindful. To detach from all that distracts me from really being with myself. From really connecting with God. And let go of things that mess with my heart or my relationship with Him. This year, I’m planning to disconnect. Which has particularly been hard ever since I started this page, because I’ve grown addicted to being here and sharing my thoughts every day.

I’ll still write. Of course I will. It currently runs in my veins. The urge to create words and lines that teach me about myself every day. Maybe I need to do it with myself for just a little while. Maybe I need to listen to more of my silence. Stare at more of my ceilings. Fix more of my pieces that need to heal in a different kind of way.

So for Ramadan, I’m planning to delete my social media apps, stop notifications on my phone, turn off the TV, and take the time to quarantine with my Creator. Live life away from technology as much as I can. And away from people. (like I have a choice lol) I don’t know how long it can last, or how it can affect my mental health at this phase, but I feel like it‘ll have a few things to teach me anyway.

And so I’ll be off this page, hopefully back after the month is over inshaAllah. Possibly with reflections about it all. And mayyybe, some more surprises on the way!

May this be a life-changing month for whoever needs it, may it fill our hearts and souls with exactly what they long for, and may we never come out of it just the same. 💕

April 22, 2020