Today, I randomly came across something I had written exactly one year ago, and I literally couldn’t stop smiling all through. It was about a struggle I had at the time, and yet I couldn’t stop smiling with every word. I could feel the pain, the anxiety, the not-knowing-what-to-do-with-myself and the will-there-ever-be-a-way-out intense thoughts. And I really couldn’t help but smile.

Because it wasn’t just about watching myself grow, it was more about physically feeling this part of me still existing inside, and realizing I had made peace with it a while ago, without even noticing. My same thoughts are literally still there, I can hear them so loud at the back of my mind on some days. And yet they no longer have the same impact on me. Because I had to go through exactly what I went through last year, to be able to process what life has been trying to make out of me since then.

And so I just wanted to take the time to write this down, so I’d always remember to give myself the credit she deserves, on those days when I feel like I haven’t made any progress at all. I have. I’ve made a lot of it. It’s just that when I get used to the change, I almost always forget where it came from. And I’m so grateful I now have my words to continue reminding me every time.

Alhamdulillah.

March 30, 2020