Old Patterns
It’s okay to fall back into old patterns; it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
That’s a lesson I keep learning almost every year, and so I feel the need to constantly remind myself of it. This journey, of working on myself, is a never-ending one. There will hardly come a time when I wake up and realize I finally have it all figured out. There will always be new struggles, new realizations. There will always be new experiences and new phases. Which will all teach me more about myself, if I pay enough attention. If I let them be. If I feel every feeling they send my way, and explore the possibilities. There will be ups, and there will be very intense downs. The one thing that’s definite about this is, neither of them will ever be permanent.
And so it’s okay. It’s okay to slip back into older versions of myself. It’s okay to feel my anxiety rocketing back up. It’s okay to have bad days. More often than not, those end up helping me grow in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise learned. In ways that the quiet, peaceful days can never offer. In ways I’m absolutely grateful for.
Falling back into old patterns doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It only means you’re a human being, experiencing normal human feelings. It means you’re on your way, regardless of the destination. It means you’ve been granted another chance, to try again. And that’s beautiful. That’s really beautiful.
