As part of week 1, I’m supposed to: list 3 old enemies of my creative self-worth.

So I started listing the instances or people who’ve said things to me over the years, that kind of limited my creativity. And what came out totally blew my mind.

I realized that most of those who’ve shared hurtful things about my work were, for the most part, speaking to themselves.

Someone once criticized a certain aspect of my writing that everyone else points out is what makes it more relatable and real. I can now clearly see how this person never tried experimenting with this certain aspect on their own work. Maybe it made them uncomfortable, so they went on to convince themselves it’s never meant to be the right approach. Connecting some dots now makes me feel this person was trying to comfort themselves, rather than offer me the constructive feedback I need.

Someone else criticized the language I choose to express myself through, then I later got to understand they never really liked reading pieces in a language that’s not their own. Which is totally fine, only that it left me feeling somewhat ‘guilty’ about it for a long time, while this person might’ve just been trying to find a reason why they weren’t so attracted to my page.

Another someone had a casual chat with me on how a person’s writing shouldn’t turn them into an open book, or reveal parts of their life, which made me doubt so many of the personal things I share online. Today I revisited our conversation and realized it said more about this person’s own beliefs, rather than it being a ‘universal fact’ that should make me question my presence on social media when it’s no longer what I, myself, believe in.

Maybe I was too vulnerable during each of those instances, that they eventually got to me. But writing about them now, and seeing them for what they mostly truly are, helps on so many levels.

May we never let the comments people absentmindedly throw around, get in the way and knock us off the creative path. Yet, most importantly, may we never be those same people on someone else’s path.

June 22, 2020