I talk to myself so terribly in my head.

I have an incredible ability of reminding her of things that happened way in the past, then defining her by all that I screwed up on. Sometimes I scare her, sometimes I tell her things I can never even utter to my worst enemies. And it’s crazy that I’m the only one who gets to hear them, it’s crazy that no one gets to stop me.

My journal usually does though.

My journal gives me the space to bring those thoughts out, and clearly see how harsh I can be on myself sometimes. I write down the words, then mentally gasp at the sight of them. I write them down, and feel like taking them back instantly. Because I know if I heard someone else being told any of them, it would hurt badly.

Being able to hear this out on paper, makes me more willing to be gentle with myself.

I particularly notice it every time I decide to write a letter to a version of myself – sometimes from the future, sometimes to the past, sometimes for me right now. And the more I do it, the more the voices in my head grow calmer. And the more I’m able to remind myself that I’m human.

My journal helps me spot the flaws in my thoughts and work through them. It helps me connect with the sides of me that aren’t always ready to attack me. It allows me to express more love towards myself, and truly internalize it. And it all makes me a lot more aware of the way I talk to myself inside my head, and the way I respond to her, too.

Try writing a letter to a different part of yourself every once in a while – you might be surprised!! 🙂

Basma Zaki