This is one major revelation I’ve gladly walked out of therapy with. That I actually love my nose. No joke.

I’ve always had self-image issues, but my nose was the worst. When I was younger, I was constantly reminded I have a somewhat “long” nose, and so it was the one major feature I always noticed (and hated) about myself all through. It was the first thing I noticed about me in pictures, and probably the only thing that caught my attention whenever I looked back at my face.

At one point, I was scared that if I ever have kids, they might end up taking my nose (just like I took my grandfather’s) and eventually blame me for it (just like I unconsciously blamed him for it). It was that serious. As serious as every other issue girls face that has to do with their faces, hair or bodies, but don’t always get the chance to really, openly talk about. (I don’t have much experience on this, but I would assume even guys, too.) Because society.

So I hated my nose. A lot. I’d always unconsciously stare at other people’s noses and wish mine was as “normal”. But you know what? Normal does not exist. Normal is most likely what society/the marketing industry wants to define. Normal is what our minds always figure out we don’t have and hence start convincing us it’s what we need. And so when we‘re always being exposed to images of how we’re “supposed” to look, and yet we stare back at the mirror and spot something else, we automatically assume its abnormal. And we start calling it ugly. Unattractive. In need of an adjustment.

But I happen to have a long, beautiful nose, and no matter what the world chooses to say about that, I love it.

I’m not sure how it happened exactly; I feel like the whole therapy package made me start loving myself as a whole, and so the little details eventually followed. But I remember how much my therapist always reminded me I have other features that I needed to explore, too. And so over time, I started shifting my focus to more of them. I started realizing I so much loved my smile and wanted to take care of it. I started liking my eyelashes(?). I started liking a lot of my little details that I never really got the chance to closely appreciate, because I would always earlier stop at my nose and instantly look away. Those details made me want to look back at myself in the mirror more, because I was finally starting to like what I saw. I started smiling at myself more. I started appreciating her beauty. I started speaking more good words to her. And I slowly started falling in love with my nose along the way, without even realizing.

If I had read this last paragraph anywhere before I start this journey, I would’ve probably just cringed and never believed a word. But now, I only wish I could’ve heard someone share they struggled with the same insecurities, too. Because for the longest time, I thought I was going through this alone. But I’m not. I’m so not. And neither are you.

We just don’t talk about it enough, that’s all.

Therapy made me talk about it so openly. It allowed me to hear more of those thoughts out loud. And the more I said them, the less power they started having over me. The more I said them, the less power my mind started having over me.

So here’s a much needed reminder that I’m hoping will forever stay with you: There’s absolutely nothing *wrong* about you. The world will always try convincing you that there is. The way some people don’t even realize they’re dealing with their insecurities, will always try to convince you there is. But I’m telling you: every little detail about you that you still haven’t made peace with just yet, makes you, you. If anyone ever happens to take any if it away, you’ll stop being you. And that, in all seriousness, will be a major loss to the world.

P.S. You have a beautiful nose, too.

Written on: February 9, 2020