I break myself…
“Nothing can break a human being other than their own self.”
Heard this sentence on a TV series today – and while I don’t think I fully agree with it, I decided to use it as my prompt for the day. (which is always an interesting way to get yourself to write on days when you feel uninspired!)
Sooo, here’s what came out:
How can a person willingly choose to ‘break’ themselves, when they know they’ll have to deal with the consequences anyway? It’s such a cruel thought… yet I realize it’s what I still unconsciously do to myself – all.the.time.
I break myself every time I choose to listen to those who make me feel I’m not good enough, yet ignore every other voice that showers me with the love and support that hardly find their way inside.
I break myself every time I make a mistake and instantly shake my head at how it will always be a proof of the progress I once thought I made, but didn’t even come close to and probably never will.
I break myself every time I feel something deep down inside yet choose to *show* the opposite, just so I won’t be terribly misjudged. I break myself every time I want to say no, but it comes out as “I don’t mind” instead.
I break myself every time I go back and reread the conversations I know will only hurt to recall, because I’m still scared of touching that delete button. I break myself every time I convince her it’s her fault that those who walked away, did.
I break myself every time I base my achievements upon the approval of those who already have different definitions for success – ones I don’t even believe in. I break myself every time I choose to work so hard only so I can get them to applaud what they’ll possibly never get.
I break myself every time I don’t allow her the chance to breathe and slow down, for all I can think of is the time I’m convinced is running out.
I break myself in all sorts of ways, but mostly, I break myself by convincing her that everyone has the power and the ability to break me, but myself. When it’s really, primarily, happening inside my own head.
In what ways do you break yourself?
Try using that as your own prompt today; you might be surprised!
