Here’s a story of a ring I ordered over 3 months ago. I came across its ad while scrolling, and I no longer even get surprised when those ads turn out to know what’s going on my mind more than I do. It was around a phase when I was really struggling with the idea of not being enough. So I decided to get the ring. Maybe that would help me internalize it, I thought.

It was meant to be delivered within 2 weeks, but the first shipment got lost and the second took too long to arrive. It was a little disappointing, but sitting back to reflect, I felt there was something more for me in there. Every time one of the things I really want gets unexpectedly delayed, there’s always something for me to take note of. And this one didn’t take long to figure out.

When I wore the ring for the first time, it felt different than what I expected when I ordered it. Because that was 3 months ago. Over the 3 months, a few things inside me changed. So when I first read the words on my finger, it didn’t feel like an argument. It rather felt like a reminder. A reminder for something I already knew. But 3 months ago, I didn’t know it. I wasn’t looking for a reminder then. All I was looking for was validation, and I was looking for it in all the wrong places.

Somehow, the shipment’s delay makes perfect sense, because my intention for it wasn’t the right one. If I had put the ring on without (at least) a tiny part of me believing in it, it would’ve made no difference. It might’ve even made it worse. Looking at it now with a new perspective, with a belief that yes, I already am enough – I might just need to be reminded of it every now and then because I’m human and I forget and that’s okay – it makes all the difference.

Sometimes all we need is for that validation to truly stem from within. Because hundreds of people assuring us of what our minds already refuse to believe, will never change a thing. The reminders help. But that’s all the outside world can offer.

They remind us, and we choose to either allow it in, or wait a little longer until we’re ready to believe it ourselves. And it’s totally okay if that takes time. It already took too long to not believe in it in the first place.

November 19, 2020