Holding Space
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
Holding Space. A phrase that has been coming up in my life a lot lately, and I find it extremely beautiful.
Simply being with someone. Being present with them. Without overthinking what to “do” so we could prove our presence, or forcefully make them feel better. Just being there. Without judgment. Without trying to complete their sentences. Without rushing to fill the silence – that’s often very much needed. Without thinking of what to say next, because if we really listen, we’re going to know exactly what the other person needs right after.
A hug. A reassuring nod. A reminder, or a simple acknowledgment that their feelings are valid no matter what anyone thinks.
I think a large part of being able to hold space for others, depends on how much we’re able to hold space for your own selves. How much we’re willing to sit with our feelings and not try to change anything about them, because simply observing our different states can sometimes be enough. I think the more we’re able to accept the different pieces of ourselves, the more we can make peace with how very little humans actually have to make sense.
Because we’re very complex creatures, yet very simple to deal with once we accept that and internalize that not understanding someone’s experience does not automatically invalidate it.
Holding space is such a healing concept. I genuinely pray we all find the capacity to hold space for others, and also allow them to hold space for us when we need it too.
So that less and less of our shame survives. 🙏
