Feelings have names. Each one of them. And it’s extremely important to learn and practice how to call each of the things we feel by their actual real ones.

I remember the first couple of times when my therapist would ask me “how do you feel?” towards the end of our conversations and my mind would just go blank. Sometimes it would be because I really do not know a name to that which I feel. Other times it would be a combination of so many emotions that I’m unable to separately identify and give names for. But the more she asked me this question, the more it helped me dig deep inside and really think. And the more names I started being able to give my feelings, the more meaning they started adding to my journey.

At first, I used to listen to my therapist describe my feelings for me instead; “this hurts”, “this brings feelings of anxiety”, “being around this person feels safe”, and so on and so forth. It felt like teaching a kid the alphabets; you’d keep repeating the name along with pointing at the letter, until they eventually associate the sound with the picture and have it sink in. I slowly started learning my feelings too, only that instead of having her point at their pictures, I’d physically feel her pointing somewhere inside my heart. She’d say the name, and I’d suddenly feel its presence so loud inside. She’d say the name, and I’d suddenly feel so liberated; realizing I am in fact allowed to feel the things I feel. It wasn’t just about naming them, as much as it was about loudly and finally acknowledging their existence.

I slowly started realizing that sometimes I’d be aware of exactly how I feel, but I’d only feel scared about saying its word out loud. I’d feel confused. I’d feel overwhelmed. I’d feel lonely. I’d feel worried. I’d feel pained. I’d feel helpless. But I’d never be able to give them names. Because for the longest time, I thought that things that don’t have names don’t exist. Never have I been more wrong.

So many of the things that scare us, only sound scary because they’re nameless. So many of the things that bring us discomfort, only do because we’re uncomfortable talking about them.