I don’t know who instilled in our minds (or maybe just mine) that we’re only meant to feel one emotion at a time. It’s like emotions have to fit in some sort of a mathematical equation, where the presence of one automatically cancels the other out. I’d often refrain from complaining about things that are really getting to me, in fear of sounding ungrateful. Because I know I’m blessed beyond words. But are blessings supposed to be a shield against pain? Can’t I be extremely grateful and still feel the need to rant about the tiniest inconveniences of my day? Sometimes I’d be super excited about something I’ve been obsessing over for too long, and then I’d watch my fingers holding my lips together every time I feel the urge to express how scared I also am. Do I have to stay silent about everything that thrills me, for it might be a reason I never get to share my worries about it later on? What if I’m angry at someone for something they’ve done, yet I’m still in love with everything they are just as much? What if I’m annoyed that a little detail didn’t work out, on something I’m extremely proud to have accomplished as a whole? What if I’m inspired to create, yet feel awfully overwhelmed? Can’t I feel a certain emotion, and still find validation for its exact opposite that exists within the same realm?

Back in school, there was this phrase we were taught in Arabic class when we’d analyze texts or poems. I’m not sure if it has any significance in English literature, but it goes like, “التضاد يظهر المعنى ويوضحه”. Which translates into “Contrasts help convey and clarify the meaning.” And I feel like, beyond the fact that we used to literally memorize this sentence and jot it down everywhere, maybe it does hold some truth. Maybe feeling the same thing and its opposite is only supposed to give meaning to the rest of the scene. Maybe the discomfort is meant to highlight the joy it accompanies. Maybe the emptiness can draw attention to a new side of love. And maybe the guilt has more to teach about acceptance than satisfaction ever does.

Maybe it’s okay to feel the unrelated emotions all at once.