It gets so confusing whenever I start wanting something to happen so bad and it doesn’t. Because in my head it’s like; do I continue believing in it, since I need to want it hard enough for it to actually happen? Or do I let go, since not having it make its way through, is already a sign it’s not meant for me altogether? Should I want it hard enough so that I'd actually attract it? Or do I slowly forget about it, for it to make a turn back into my life when I’m no longer obsessing over it? Do I stay hopeful, or do I convince myself it’s for the better? Do I hold on tightly, or do I give up and never speak about it ever?
It gets even more confusing when my every thought is followed by a long, loud deafening silence. One that seems to always want to teach me something I’m still not getting.
