Cry it out
I always unconsciously thought I’d better save my tears for the big stuff, but there’s nothing like letting every little (completely trivial) thing out in tears.
I also used to take pride in my ability to hold back my tears until I could be alone, before I realized I was never able to cry around people. I thought I was staying strong all along when in fact it was out of my control; I didn’t know how to do it. I’d got uncomfortable whenever someone broke down into tears, because I never knew what to do with them either. And I never wanted to burden someone this much.
But then it slowly started sounding more like a blessing. Those intense emotions we experience, how else can we release them? How can a mother express those mixed feelings on her daughter’s wedding night? How can a little boy express his grief over the unexplainable death of his favorite uncle? How can two best friends reuniting after years, explain that first hug? How can a patient’s family release their worries about the vagueness of what’s yet to come? How can you verbalize how annoying it is to break your nail on a day that has already been keeping you on the edge?
You cry. You let that excruciating chest-clutch, that uncontrollable eye-squeeze and that trembling of the lips do all the work. You lose control over what flows from within and allow the tears to wash it all out. Because there’s so much strength in letting those walls down.
Please allow yourself to shed more tears. There’s nothing worse than getting so used to swallowing through every throat-lump. Cry over your phone’s cracked screen when you accidentally drop it. Cry over the bus you miss and have to wait a few hours to catch the next one. Cry over the dress that got sold out before you could find your size. Cry over the cup of coffee you spilled before you could even take a sip. Cry when you lose your favorite pen. Cry when you’re losing your bestfriend. Cry when you’re so lost and nothing seems to work according to your plan. Cry when you sin so bad and feel like you’re no longer able to turn to God.
And remember to admire the strength of every person who allows themself to tear up while you stare straight into their eyes.
