Growing up, I always felt like I’m being rushed into recovery. Even by my own self. With every event that breaks me down, I’d give myself a week or two, then feel like it’s about time to snap out of it, clean my mess, and move forward. Because it’s not like I’ll spend forever […]

  No matter how much I try to maintain a non-self loathing space for myself, or one that’s free from self-blame, I still find myself falling back into it with every new tough test. The first thought that immediately rushes to my mind when something bad happens is, what did I do wrong? What might […]

  As soon as I was able to get a few seconds to myself in the middle of all the noise, my fingers instantly started typing this. This one thought was taking over my mind; what if that day was meant to be my last? I don’t think the thought of that would have troubled […]

  Crying helps. A lot. It worries people to see someone crying, and yet I’d say it worries me to see people going through tough times without shedding a single tear. Because sometimes emotions can be pretty intense, nothing would soothe them more than the creation of tears. Every time I tried to cry that […]

  The most blood-boiling part of the crash is, the guy behind it all. The first thing I saw of his face was a smile, a wide one. It kinda looked like it was his every day thing; crashing into random people on the street and ruining their lives. Until this very moment, I can’t […]

  The first thing I remember hearing after the crash is the screams of my pregnant friend, which was mostly happening out of shock, yet sounded like it‘s out of pain. And it freaked me out so bad. My eyes widened. My hands were shaking. Absolutely nothing in the world seemed to matter at that […]

  You know how they say you won’t hear the bullet that‘s going to kill you? It kind of sounded like a relief, until I realized it’s only about the sound. Because I saw the car that traumatized me in the mirror as it was speeding towards us. And I felt the crash before it […]

  Timings. I’ve always believed my life’s so cautiously thought-out and planned, in terms of major events leading up to one another in total harmony. Solely connecting the dots used to baffle me, up until I realized how every minute of my February 16 was so carefully calculated for me to end up in that […]

  February 16, 2020. A day I had no idea was meant to forever be engraved in my memory, with all its details. When I woke up that morning, I was as excited about life as I’d been for the last couple of weeks. I had no idea God had different plans for me; the […]